so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
two words: eviction party
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
