He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
