It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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