he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
