Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and she was petting her beer can
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
