glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
