I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
