apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
