Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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