idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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