so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
