he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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