I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
