so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
