my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
