were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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