fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
