I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
