I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
