in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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