now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
