I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
