when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
