I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Send help, water and tortillas.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
