what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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