I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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