Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
