Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
