this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
