I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
