he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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