I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
