last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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