she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
third nipple confirmed
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
