in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
