What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
