so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
