So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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