I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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