Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
