I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
