How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
