I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This baby is an asshole
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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