I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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