booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
