I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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