we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
