we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
