It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
