I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
